Nights on Broadway Page 3
I stood, speechless.
"I haven't been to this place in a long time," she started.
"Neither have I. I didn't think I'd ever be here again."
"I saw you on the corner a few weeks ago. You rushed away. I didn't think you would want to come back here."
"Ani, I left you in tears. I didn't think you'd ever want to look at me again."
She shook her head at me, that electric smile on her beautiful face. "Jesse, you opened the door to my future. You turned the hardest time of my life into the most beautiful memories I had. And now there's something I'm supposed to show you, because The White Room has been trying to tell me something for weeks."
"What is it?"
She shrugged and started to laugh. "I have no idea! I think maybe I have to touch you, it's like that sometimes."
I opened my arms and then she was pressed against me. That place must have been Heaven.
"Oh!" she gasped, "it's music."
"What?"
"Evidently, your future is tied to music, a lot of music. There seem to be a lot of love songs from the seventies wrapped up in you," she laughed as she took my hand in hers and we danced like we'd done when she taught me years ago. "There's something else too, I don't recognize it. I think it's an aria. Do you know what it is?" she asked, as the music lilted around us and she looked up into my eyes.
"No, but I think I was dreaming about this song just before I got here."
"I think your future has a singer in it."
"Future," I shook my head. "I don't have a future. I'm still stuck in the present, Ani. I'm afraid it's always going to be like this."
"You listen to me, Jesse Ianescu. I know you have a future. I don't think I'd be standing here if you didn't." She pressed her hand to my heart and continued. "You are a beautiful dream come true. You've got some magic in you if you would just give it a chance. There is one incredibly lucky girl out there waiting for you. When you find her, don't you let go this time. Even if it's hard, or the timing is bad, you stick with her. The future is there. Don't let it get away. Promise me!"
"I promise you," I answered.
And then I was awake, alone, on the cold, hard floor.
I couldn't even remember the song or the feeling of happiness. I'd accepted letting go of Ani. I knew I did the right thing. But the loss, the emptiness still hurt. I didn't even get to ask her if she was happy. I promised, but I was afraid of hurting like that again.
* * *
So, I was sitting alone at the information desk doing absolutely nothing except keeping my aching foot elevated and remembering a day maybe a year ago when a pretty girl gave me a sandwich and my stupid brain pushed her away to relive my hurt. Seeing the photo in Mr. Coleman's office stirred up those old emotions yet again and even though the situation was different, the similarities were startling. Jade was a student at Julliard. Though I had not pried enough to know exactly what she was majoring in, I did know it was some sort of theater arts because she would miss work every now and then for her shows. Another beautiful, gifted woman walked into my life and I could not make her mine. Maybe I could have, but the years had been so hard, I just was too afraid of the heartache.
It wasn't long before I had to pull myself together and assist some customers, and once the line started it seemed to go on for a good long while.
I thought I was only going to be at the desk for an hour or so, but it was going on two and a half hours and as I was directing a customer to where she could find books written in Spanish, I noticed Dianna was up on the registers. Clearly Lisa was trying to keep me off my foot by restraining me in the tiny circular prison of customer service. But the truck was in and I knew I should be doing my actual job. Broken foot or not, I felt restless when I was not doing the manual labor. Sitting at the desk was like stealing, getting paid for nothing.
The line disappeared at long last and I sank back into the desk chair, finally able to relax my fixed smile into a one that didn't make my cheeks ache. It was that exact moment that delicate fingers raked through the back of my freshly trimmed hair and feelings I tried hard to deny surged through my body.
Jade slid onto the desk in front of me. She knocked my glasses askew as she stroked my cheek, then let her fingers linger as she straightened them.
God, she was beautiful.
I sat looking up at her thinking about laying my head down on her lap and just letting her touch me like she had the other night. Not that I remembered much about that night, in fact, I remembered frighteningly little about it, but I remembered her gentle touch. I wished I could just have her, just keep this pretty girl who almost admitted that she loved me, but stole the words back before they could change anything. I wished I could just open up and tell her what my problem was, but I couldn't.
"So, are you going to tell me how the interview went, or are you just going to sit there looking at me with those puppy eyes until I am forced to throw myself into your lap and kiss you."
"Right here?" I grinned.
"Stop! Do not smile at me like that, Jesse! I will kiss you right here and make a big scene about it too," she teased.
"You actress types are good at that sort of thing, right?"
"And you lawyer types are good at being difficult."
"The interview went pretty well. They want me to come back and meet the partners."
"Oh My Gosh, Jesse! That's great!" she squealed as she slid from the desk and threw her arms around my neck.
I winced at the sudden movement.
"You wore shoes to the interview, didn't you," she said, narrowing her hazel eyes at me, knowing full well that I obviously would have done that. "Jesse, you have to let it heal, Baby, you have to."
"I'm wearing the boot now. Lisa is desperately trying to keep me out of the back. Can't that be enough for right now," I asked softly.
Jade nodded and ran her fingers up through my hair again. "Yes. Yes it can. What firm was it?"
"Corwinn and Bankston on Fifty-seventh."
"Oh," she said sort of shortly. Then she abruptly changed the subject. "You want something to drink? I can bring you something."
"I'm fine."
"I don't know why I bother asking first. I always get the same answer."
"Sorry. I don't want you to have to wait on me."
"I wait on people all the time. Taking care of you is different. Will you come over tonight? I would really like it if you would."
"Jade..."
"Don't say no, Jesse."
I just nodded. I was going to let her down at some point, but maybe it didn't have to be tonight.
CHAPTER 7 - JESSE:
I was one of those people who really tried to keep my problems to myself. I didn't want people to feel sorry for me, their pity made me feel ashamed.
I was healthy.
I had all my faculties.
I could have been easier on myself and deferred some of my loans, but I knew from my parents' situation that the future could change in an instant and I was afraid of living under that burden.
And it's true; the future can change for better or for worse in a single moment.
Sometimes it's magic.
Sometimes it's a careless coworker and a broken foot.
I didn't have any insurance and a trip to the hospital was easily going to cost a thousand dollars that I didn't have.
The accident happened the night of my previous failure at an interview. The firm had been so posh that I was afraid to sit down in the lobby. Just the way the receptionist looked at me I knew I did not have a chance, and I stood there wondering why they even bothered to call me in.
Anyway, saying that interview went badly was definitely understating the facts. I hadn't wanted the job from the moment I met my potential boss, but I was still upset about the things she said and the way she said them.
I was disheartened to say the least. I wa
s back in the place that the haughty lawyer had referred to as both menial and insignificant, and though I thought it showed a good deal of consistency and dedication she'd pretty much said that it was an embarrassment to have it listed on my resume. Needless to say, in my aggravated yet humbled state of mind, I probably wasn't paying close enough attention to my surroundings in the stockroom and that lapse cost me.
For the first week I tried to pretend it wasn't that bad. I said my foot was just bruised, even though it was so swollen I could hardly get it into my sneakers and I had to keep the laces really loose. The pain was so bad it was actually nauseating, but no one else needed to know that.
Jade had not been in the store very much that week. She was in the last semester of her senior year and she was in some sort of show that was in dress rehearsals. Yes, I'd known her for a long time. No, I did not know what sort of show she was doing. Honestly, she'd been in the periphery of my life for nearly a year and a half, and I didn't even know her last name. I had made an extreme effort not to get involved with her even though she was beautiful and sweet; she fed me on a semi-regular basis and looked at me with her big eyes like I was some sort of fantasy. I suspected she purposely hid a sandwich somewhere in the back of the cooler just so she could give it to me at the end of the night. We had coffee together on at least a few times each week, but I never asked her personal questions.
Never.
It would have been so easy to take her in my arms, to kiss her mouth, to dance to the piped in, seventies music in that empty stock room, and feel the joy of touching someone, of being touched by someone.
But then what?
How could I make it work when I barely had time to sleep, and rarely had money to feed myself?
She came back to work on Sunday. Well, actually, she was already behind the counter in the cafe when I walked in. And by walked in, I really mean that I lurched in like a zombie dragging my useless foot behind me, because lifting it and then having to set it back down was roughly the equivalent of walking over burning coals. The store was bigger than it had ever been. It seemed to take an hour to cross the sales floor. Every other person in the world was moving like some deity had his finger on the fast forward button.
I would have given my left arm for a fist full of Advil.
I pulled out my time card out of its slot and Jade plucked it from my fingers. She spun, punched it and slid it back into its happy place.
"How did your dress rehearsal go?" I asked with a smile that most likely looked like a grimace.
"Fine. What happened to you?"
"What?"
"Come on! Please tell me. You can hardly walk. What happened to you? You look terrible."
"It's nice to see you too," I laughed.
"Jesse, please!" she pleaded, looking like she might cry.
"It was just an accident. I got a box dropped on my foot."
"Did you get it looked at? Is it broken?"
"No."
"You didn't get it looked at?" she gasped.
"It'll be fine. It's just going to take a few weeks."
"No! It's not going to be fine! You can hardly walk. You need to have it x-rayed."
"Jade, I really appreciate your concern but I..."
"You appreciate my concern? I'm not just going to butt out, Jesse! This is serious. You need to get it checked. If it's broken and you don't get it set..."
And then I lost it.
"I know!" I shouted. "I'll always have problems with it. I'll probably have to surgery sometime. I know! I don't have insurance. I can't afford to do anything about it right now, okay? There I said it. I just have to suck it up for a few weeks and hope for the best," I yelled, throwing my hands in the air. "I have to get to work." I snapped and I limped away. I was in pain, so much pain. She was pushing me. I had to admit I was too poor to get my damned foot looked at, to this girl that I really liked, who I obviously couldn't ask out because I was so broke I couldn't even get my foot, which I knew damned well was broken, looked at. I snapped at her for being concerned about me, which just made me feel like a complete jerk. But I walked out toward the stock room without giving any thought to the pain because really, everything hurt. My whole life just hurt.
I threw myself in a chair and sat hunched over with my face in my hands.
I didn't even notice that she'd followed me.
"Jesse, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I really didn't. I don't like seeing you in pain," she said quietly and she gently stroked my hair.
"I didn't mean to take it out on you. It's not your fault. Please forgive me."
"You don't need to apologize. I crossed a line. I couldn't help it, I've never seen you look like that."
"Can we just not talk about my foot? You didn't tell me how your rehearsal went."
She shrugged and she slumped a little. "It was okay, I guess. I don't know. I did my best. I just wish..."
"What do you wish?"
"Nothing. It's stupid," she sighed. "Here, I brought you an apple juice. It's sort of like an apology, but fruity and thirst quenching. It's better than an apology really, because it's a hundred percent natural."
I started to laugh. I laughed really hard. So hard, that I did actually forget about the pain, which could only mean that laughter actually was the best medicine. "Thanks Jade. I needed that. I really did."
She nodded and she walked away, but she was hurt and that was my fault.
She showed up the next day right at the end of my day shift. She stood looking at me for a solid minute and then without a word, she shoved an envelope into my hands.
"What's this?"
"Please don't get mad at me, Jesse. It's what you need to get your foot taken care of. I made an appointment."
"I can't take your money, Jade."
"I don't need the money. Please do this."
"I can't. I know how many hours you have to work for this..."
"No. You don't."
"Jade, it's too much," I said holding the envelope out to her.
"Damn it Jesse! It's nothing!" she exclaimed as tears filled her pretty eyes. "It is absolutely nothing. Don't you understand? I don't need the money! I go to Julliard. Mother and Daddy pay for everything. I didn't even audition, they just made some phone calls. They come see my shows and bring their fancy friends, they tell me how great I am, but am I? I don't even know if I have any talent. I came to work here to meet some real people, see what real people are like. And working is hard. I've never done anything hard. Having to stand up there and smile at rude people just sucks. I have wanted to quit probably a hundred times. But there's this guy that works in the back and he has the most beautiful smile. He's nice to people just because that's his nature. He comes here and he works his ass off. He hardly ever notices me, but I think he's amazing. I know his life is hard, but I don't know why it's so hard. I also know there is nothing I wouldn't do for him," she said as I stood gaping. "So, that's my stupid story. I stay just to be near you. I don't need the money. I need you. I love..." she stopped. She just froze there for a moment then she turned and ran.
"Jade!" I yelled after her.
She didn't stop.
"Please Jade! I can't chase you! Don't do this to me!" I cried out as I attempted to follow her. She stopped, but she just stood there, shoulders slumped, chin dropped, most likely crying.
"I didn't mean to say that. I know you don't think about me that way. It just slipped out."
I reached out to her and gently turned her to face me. She was so beautiful, so delicate. I swept those blonde bangs away from her face and tilted her chin up. And then I kissed her.
I swear I heard angels singing when my mouth met hers.
I didn't want to stop. I didn't ever want to break that connection, lose that moment. But a first kiss was supposed to be somewhere beautiful, a perfect moment that lives in your memories forever and I didn't even give h
er that.
"I do think about you that way Jade. I've been thinking about you that way for a long time, but I have nothing to offer you."
She looked up at me like she didn't understand my words, then she pressed her cheek against my chest. "Why can't you just give me that?" she asked, pressing her hand to my heart.
"Because I'm a coward. A broken foot will heal in four weeks, maybe six. But a broken heart never does."
"I would be so careful with it."
"I know you would, Baby. I know that, but the ending..."
"No! I won't hear about the ending when I haven't even gotten a beginning!"
"I already screwed up the beginning pretty badly," I sighed.
"Really? Because I thought the kiss was pretty spectacular."
She said it with a completely straight face, without even a hint of jest, and even though she wasn't joking, I began to laugh. "I've wanted that kiss for a long time, Jade, but a first kiss should be somewhere beautiful. It should be so romantic. It should be the perfect ending to a night you never want to forget. It shouldn't be in the stockroom after I've just been a complete jerk to the girl I've been thinking about for nearly a year and a half."
"I've been to a lot of beautiful places, Jesse. I've never been kissed like that. I've never wanted to be kissed by someone so badly in all my life. This stockroom may be the most perfect place in the whole world." She ran her fingers up into my hair and gazed at me with those big hazel eyes. She already had my heart. I couldn't say the words, but maybe she could see them in my eyes because she pressed her lips to mine and what was there was magic.
The music was so loud in my head that I would have swept her into a waltz if I my stupid foot had not been completely useless. I pressed my forehead to hers.
She gasped. She didn't pull away. She just listened.
"Can you hear that, Jesse? Did you do that?"
I nodded.
"That's... How did you know?"
"It's been in my head since the day we met, the day you gave me the first sandwich."
"That must mean something. It must. Give me a chance, Jesse. Let me take you to this appointment and help you through this one thing. It would mean so much to me."
"Okay," I nodded. "I will pay..."
"Don't you say it. Don't you dare say it. I don't what this to be a debt. I want it to be a start, a partnership. Why don't you clock out and I'll pick you up at the back entrance."